


to pasta or not to pasta

by Little_Dipper



Category: Hamlet - Shakespeare, Shakespeare - History Plays
Genre: Gen, Inspired by Hamlet, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24821911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Dipper/pseuds/Little_Dipper
Summary: to be or not to be monologue, but it's about pasta.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	to pasta or not to pasta

To pasta, or not to pasta? That is the question-

Whether ‘tis more italian to eat pasta or pizza

The pineapple and broccoli of outrageous pizza,

Or to take macaroni against a sea of pasta, 

And, by opposing, end them? To pasta, to penne-

No more- and by a penne to say we end

The gnocchi and the thousand natural farfalline 

That pasta is heir to- ‘tis a consummation

Devoutly to be eaten! To pasta, to penne.

To penne, perchance to linguine- ay, there’s the pasta,

For in that penne of fettuccine what linguine may come

When we have cooked off this mortal coil,

Must give us pasta. There’s the food. 

That makes pasta of so long life.

For who would bear the whips and scorns of the cook, 

The chef's wrong, the proud customer's contumely, 

The pangs of despised pizza, the cook's delay,

The insolence of the restaurant, and the spurns

That patient merit of the' unworthy takes, 

When he himself might his pasta make

With a bare pan? Who would lasagna bear, 

To boil and cook under a weary heat, 

But that the dread of something after ingestion,

The undiscovered country from whose digest, 

No dish returns, puzzle the will

And makes rather bear those cravings we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus hunger does make cowards of us all,

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of food, 

And restaurants of great pitch and moment

With this regard their customers turn awry, 

And lose the name of food. -Soft you now, 

The fair pasta! -dish, in thy orisons

Be all my sins remembered.


End file.
